I chose a picture of the world for this post for a reason. Because even though you may live ON it, I rule it. Every once in a while, I shall allow you (the masses) to suggest things to post. Why? Because I am God here, that’s why.

And… because inherentally, truth be told, I’m as lazy as a homeless person on tranquilizers.

See, my goal is to eventually have all of you create posts for me. Then, reply to those posts…so that in actuality, you’ll be commenting to yourselves. Why? Because the sheer thought of that assurd notion pleasures me. I am All powerful and All-wise.

I welcome all kinds of guest posts, including local hometown news, what’s eating you, information about what you found in your pockets last week, why you’re attracted to your first cousin, etc. (Nothing shall be off-base, because anything is better than listening to me.)

The real crux is that your post matches our topics. See those inane streams listed on the right side of the page…that would be them.

Slobbering on a Triple-Double in the back of a local diner yesterday, I was reminded of what my father once told me: “Never get caught… especially if what you’re doing involves taking your pants dow to your ankles.”

I’ve been rotting away in my hometown for over 39 years now, and in all that time, the place hasn’t burned to the ground and ended my misery, despite how hard I pray for it to do so.

As I looked at the man running the diner, I felt compelled to impart on him the wisdom I have accrued in my many years of spinning my wheels in my dead-end job. But alas, he wasn’t worth it…so I stiffed him for the tip and put my cigarette out in his sugar bowl.

Poor pathetic souls…