Archive for Cheap Ass Entrepreneur

Cheap-assing to stay debt free

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After the response to my first blog, you knew it was only a matter of time before I found time to blog again and pretend I know what I’m talking about!

Let’s face it: being in debt sucks! It’s hard enough to start your own business, and it’s even harder when you have to sneak into your own house after midnight so you don’t run into the landlord. And yes there are times when you’d like to treat your family to great meal with all the fixings at some fancy “Burger King”, but you just found out your editor bumped your story about “Where Milk Comes From” out of this week’s issue of your local give-away newspaper. So here are some cheap ass entrepreneur tips for getting debt free!

  • “Borrow” instead of buy – The next time you need something, just think of people you know who already have it. Most people have more stuff than they really need, so just help yourself. And don’t forget to offer to help people look for missing items, that way they’ll be less inclined to think you stole from them!
  • Sell accounts receivable - In business, this is the money that other people owe you. The idea is you can sell future money at a discount to someone else and have money today. Consider this example: You tell your bouncer friend Butch that last night you and Steve were playing poker and Steve owes you 50 bucks, if Butch gives you 40 today, he can just collect Steve’s 50 bucks next week. Then next week, when Steve is getting his ass handed to him by Butch, (all the while crying he’s doesn’t know anything about a Poker debt), you’ll have 40 bucks to spend!
  • Use pretend family members to secure credit – Consider applying for a credit card in your dog’s name, or just use dead relatives! If you don’t have any dead relatives, just pick up your local paper. They publish the names of dead people everyday!

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Cheap Ass Entrepreneur philosophies for software startup

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Welcome to my first guest blog here for business people starting to scratch. I’m the cheap ass entrepreneur and I’m here to offer tips on how to make millions without spending a lot of your own dough. Today’s lesson is for people thinking about starting a software company. Some internet jarhead out there has offered tips (link withheld) which I’ll adapt into five principles for you to think about.

1. Don’t buy what you can take. Consider the case of my fellow cheap ass entrepreneur, let’s call her “Peggy Pillpusher”. Peggy worked in the medical field and was able to stuff enough things in her purse each day that she was able to run a successful side business from the corner block where she lived. Eventually, Peggy made enough money to quit her regular job and devote herself full-time to being a cheap ass entrepreneur.

2. Learn those garbage routes. Companies are always throwing stuff away and if you need computer stuff you just need to find out when that stuff is heading to the dumpster. One good tip I’ve found is that a case of Thunderbird is usually enough to get most janitors to let you know when you need to drive your car to the back of the building.

5. Don’t be too proud to beg. Consider starting a website to ask business or individuals to donate things to you. Be sure to talk about your grand plans and your humble beginnings. You can even try to impress people with made-up success stories, like that high school garage band that once toured a 3-mile radius.

So there you go, five tips to get you started as a cheap ass entrepreneur. Remember if any of these work for you, you owe me a beer…or an A/C for my home office.

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