The cast of characters (plus: About thy Master)
This is where I shall trick thee with lies, mistruths and deception about my credentials. It is also where I expect all my bloggers to tell me why I should allow them to post on my blog.
I will lead by example, as I have done all my precious life. I am a writer, musician, painter, air traffic controller, mover, shaker, joker, smoker, midnite toker, I collect rare coins and sell them for millions…and, I also have hair. I’m well respected and smart and have a lot of friends who are also well respected and smart. I have written songs that will make you cry and created businesses that will make you jealous. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. I will post on this site until I see fit not to do so…then I will throw this site away as I have done many times before. Simply because it amuses me.
I will use this site to create a forum through which other posters will not only provide all content, but then said users will also pay my mortgage by buying useless things from the banner ads and links that I will pepper within every square inch of this site. It’s ingenious, you see? The more ads I sell, the more money I’ll reap. The more money I reap, the more people will come. It’s a continuous loop of success that will have me sitting on a pile of money in no time. It’s a digital version of another great idea I had a few years back that almost made me millions. Who would have thought Amway was a pyramid scheme. Live and learn.
Now it’s your turn, masses.
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Bad As Can said
They call me bad as can… and you can leave it at that, hear?
Strangely, I both fear and admire you at the same time. The threat of knowing that at any given moment, you may choose to play God and ignore my posts, delete them when I try to speak my mind and force me to make my own posts up as a guest blogger…only to have me banned from posting afterwards… must be what it’s like for those into S+M or some activity where they have no control.
Lead on, o’ dark OverLord of the blogging breathren.
Master of Thy Site said
That is right. Here, I am not some cast-out loser, but the ruler of every horribly, cookie-cutter designed webpage and bad banner ad you see. Never forget your place in my kingdom or suffer the consequences.
Bizarro Blogger said
Me Bizarro Blogger… Me result of blogging gone bad. Very very bad. People think me what happen when people blog too much, but me not sure how it possible.
Blogger from the Future said
I’m a blogger from a future alternate time line, that may or may not happen. Or parts of it might happen, while other parts do not. Or some things may happen sort-of-like they happened here but they will be changed in some ironic way. Or perhaps…ahhh who cares? You’ve seen the Twilight Zone, you know what I’m talking about!
In my lifetime I’ve started many blogs, my credentials are too numerous to name. In 2037 I would win the Nobel Peace Prize for ending war on Earth, the following year I would have the award revoked for introducing wars in space.
But now, I will let my knowledge guide you. Through me you will learn to blog better. And then will write your own future…OR DESTROY IT!
hotbod67 said
Hi. My name’s Henry, but you can call me by by street name: HotBod67. I work at Quinoz (even though I can’t spell it very well), I’m overweight (just a pound or two), I do live with my parents (but that’s only because I’m savin’ up enough dough for a sweet ride (a 67 Mustang fastback, if you must know) and I’m a stud with the ladies. Just ask the courts… they literally have to make me sign papers to stay away from them.
Seriously, I’m hot.
Blogger From a World Gone Horribly Wrong said
djkasdjkfksdfksdkf… I’m in. I’m in! Half-breeds…hold them at the door until I can relay my message to the world.
People of earth, bloggers one-and-all, hear my plea. I am from a timestream in the future where blogging has unfortunately caused the demise and downfall of civilization as we know it. In the past, I too was a blogger. In fact, I had started many blogs, only to leave them after two months because I either grew tired of them or, abadoned them after they grew so large, the free sites that I was posting them on asked me for money.
Stop what you’re doing. Don’t blog! I don’t have much time to speak before they find me, but you must not clog up the Internet with vapid, useless websites and posts. There are reprecussions to it that you can’t possibly understand yet that go far beyond becomely morbidly obese and socially distant. I will try often to puncture through the time-space continuum to deliver this message of hope from the future, but I don’t know how many times they will allow me to… to…
HOLD THEM OFF! AGH! THEY’RE ALL OVER ME! SHOOT IT…SHOOT IT! Mother of God, hel…. sdgksdlglsfjgjldfjgljdfgjsdfgljfdklg
cheap ass entrepreneur said
I have a great idea for this site! I’d like to give people advice on how they can start their own business without spending any money! Of course I’ve never started a business myself…or run one…or even known someone who has. And I’ve have no formal training…or taken business classes….or finished college…but I did take Accounting for three weeks in high school, until I dropped it when I realized it had something to do with math. But as long as Google exists and I can spell “business” I can just borrow other people’s work and act like it’s my own! Hell, I can even make up my own advice!
And if you find my advice useful, you can send me twenty bucks…or buy me a beer…or even a Mr Pibb. The point is I should get money for telling people how to make money, right?
babagooey said
What can I say about myself? I blog, but I’m not your average blogger. I have things that other bloggers don’t.
A life, for example.
I have a real job.
I have money in the bank.
I have an address that’s not the attic apartment over my parent’s garage.
I like women and they like me back.
I drink…heavily. And, I know that the difference between a light beer and a dark beer isn’t just the color.
I like sports.
I play sports.
I like to play sports.
When I flex my arm, a muscle grows.
I have more tha one.
I can take a punch.
I can throw a punch.
In short, I’m a guy’s guy who likes to blog every once in awhile.
Deal with it.
Peter Guzinya said
Wikky wikky wak…guess who’s back?
I love to rap but people crap because I’m white, not black.
I’m straight outta the suburbs bustin’ nasty beats
about my fellow floggin’ bloggers and the cold mean streets.
So don’t front Joe…
I’m throwing down, HO!
my crazy rhymes in double time ’cause that’s my M.O.
Shizzle to your dizzle, bee-otches!!!
shazbotwinx said
Call me Shazbot Winx. I’m the master of the one-liners, and one day, I’m hoping to be a big stand-up comic like Dane Cook…only funny. Some people think I’m not entertaining, but those people just don’t see the value in a good limerick or a joke that features a farmer’s daughter or a priest that walks into a bar. But I’ll let you people be the judge.
Pastor Doobie said
How are you everyone? I’m a 55-year old (56 this coming December), free-spirited Methodist pastor. I live for Christ, but, I’m not so conservative to also live for a nice big fat bowl of Jamaica’s finest. There are three things that bring me closer to our Lord and Saviour: deep thoughtful prayer, reefer and blogging. Not necessarily in that order.
Amok Time said
Ghak mar jark muh ma tek!
That’s Klingon for “Hello and nice to meet you.” Actually, it could mean “These Antican testicles are undercooked!” as well. It depends on how much accent you put on the word “jark” when you say it.
I’m a Trekker (don’t call me a trekkie). It stands to reason that I love Star Trek and all things related to it. That includes every sequel, movie (even the odd numbered ones), book, poster and any and all merchandise. I also have every single movie and episode on disc. I’m even working on going back and getting the original series on VHS, if I can find some idiot that still has them.
I try to follow the Prime Directive and the laws of the Temporal Prime Directive, but I also follow the Ferengi rules of Acquisition and the laws laid down by the Q continuum. This, of course, creates quite a problem sometimes, as any Trekker would know.
RIP Roddenberry…you’re one with the stars now, my friend.
Tiberius said
Hey all! The REAL Star Trek fan is now in the house! Most of you should remember me from the other site we used to post at. I’m the guy who suggested the Overlord should include a Sci-Fi section to his new blog–and thanked me, took my idea, and blocked me from posting! What a guy!
Mac Attack said
This is Mac Attack. I’m what all my blogging buddies (1,242 friends strong on MySpace, yo!) always call the voice of reason. In every other blog we’ve taken over, I’m the guy that always manages to bring things back into focus. You see, most times, someone posts something and the rest of the bloggers end up turning the conversation around until it barely resembles what was SUPPOSED to be discussed. That’s my biggest pet peeve and I hate it and I’ll always try to resteer things back on track.
For example: The moderator posts about why Brad Pitt is a horrible actor. Then, it’ll spiral out of control, like:
Blogger #1 will mention his humbling work in Fight Club.
Blogger #2 will brag that he got in a fight in a club.
Blogger #3 will call him a liar and that he hasn’t left his parent’s basement in 20 years.
Blogger #4 will ruminate over the fact that he has a 20-year comic book collection.
Blogger #5 will pose the question: Who really is Donny Troy?
Blogger #6 won’t catch the lame comic book reference and won’t know what the Hell is going on.
See how it gets crazy? I’m here to solve all that.
Salute Yer Privates said
HOOOAHHH! Army strong!
My name’s Jed and I would have gone to flight school for the Army at Fort Rucker Alabama to do Apache training, but a height requirement and a peanut allergy kept me from going in to protect and serve. I like music, weightlighting, tattoos and I like to blog to stay on top of what’s going on in the world.
Petey Giamati said
hello. I was told about this site from a friend.
My name’s Pete Giamati (my friends call me petey). I get a lot of people that tell me that I look a lot like the famous actor Paul Giamati and find it strange that we share the same name. I think we are related, despite my parent’s denial of being adopted. Especially after being refused so many times by the Giamati camp over in Hollywood to have my true brother Paul submit to a bloodtest. One day, I shall learn the truth, which is why I blog, hoping to find someone who may have the answers. If you know of anything or anyone that can help, please e-mail me at myparentsarebigfatliars24@excite.com
Thank you and I look forward to embracing this community as family until I’m finally accepted by my own.
Monkey Seal said
I’m Monkeyseal. What can I say about myself? I feel like I grew up on the Web. I’m a student at MIT and majoring in electrical engineering and computer science…with a minor in Chinese studies. I’m Asian-America, proud of it and despise ignorant people that perpetuate stereotypes, as a few of my fellow bloggers on here can attest to.
Aku Achoo said
The name should say it all. I’m a cartoon fan and a true Otaku (those who are one as well know what I’m talking about.) Anyone that says that cartoons are just for kids has obviously not done their homework. Got a celluloid cartoon question of your own? I’m your man!
Sexy Big Time said
Hey Steve! Thanks for telling me about the site.
Well, they call me Sexy Big Time and I’m legal. (That’s all you boys need to know, right?) Looking to make some new friends here, so, if I see any that have potential, I may blog or IM you. Otherwise, don’t waste your time until you’ve proven yourself worthy of a goddess.
Chow!
Master of Thy Site said
Ahhhhhhhhh…my coven grows strong with other bloggers who also have no lives and don’t realize that posting is the fastest way to ensure they shall never have one.
Continue introducing yourselves, trolls! Your Master decrees it!
Spider-Fanboy said
hey mac attack, i’m a comic fan and id like to take a stab at at dona troy question. are you adking about pre 0r post crisis donna troy?
wookie hunting nookie said
Howdy folks! You all should remember me from the “other” site, I’m the guy who introduced the world to The Menstrual Cyclists! Anyone need a new band?
my left nut said
Now the party’s startin’ cause my left nut is here and in your face!
Hey all! My name is my left nut, I only have one nut and my interests include: talking about myself in the third person, pointing out social networks that really aren’t social networks since people can’t talk, and making fun of haughty bloggers until they curl up in the fetal position, cry and delete my posts!
Schlub Reporter said
Greetings all! I’m a beat reporter for a local newspaper that’s always on the cutting edge of what’s happening in the world. Or at least what’s happening in the small-town paper for which I write. When I’m not penning riviting prose about zone meetings for new stoplights or which local cheerleader is raising money for kids in Zimbabwe, I like to communicate via blogging with other fellow journalists.
The pen shall be, and always will be, mightier than the sword!!!
Mona Lott said
Hello, my name is Mona. I’ve been told that I could be the world’s oldest blogger. I was born May 14, 1927. My late father used to tell me that the classic ditty “Ain’t She Sweet?” by Ben Bern hit #1 on the pop singles chart that same day. Ah, the memories!
My favorite hobbies are playing my recordings on my victrola, reminescing about the pre-war days and talking to my cats, Ziggy and Pinny. My sweet daughter tells me the doctors say I’m suffering from memory loss, delusion and paranoia which causes me to sometimes ramble on senselessly about things. But I think she’s just saying those things because she wants my money. Well, I already told her she would have to pry it from my cold dead hands. Because I’m not a Nazi! And she’s is and I’m sure of it. And she knows I know because she hates Pinny. And Pinny knows, don’t you girl? That’s right Pinny…tell Grand Mama what my daughter’s been doing. I know she’s stealing my jewelry! She can’t wait until I’m buried, she has to have it now…to pawn off for reefer money and hippie dust!!!
Oh! I’ll write back later. The BBC’s having a marathon of Poirot! Bye for now!
bibomedia.com said