After the response to my first blog, you knew it was only a matter of time before I found time to blog again and pretend I know what I’m talking about!
Let’s face it: being in debt sucks! It’s hard enough to start your own business, and it’s even harder when you have to sneak into your own house after midnight so you don’t run into the landlord. And yes there are times when you’d like to treat your family to great meal with all the fixings at some fancy “Burger King”, but you just found out your editor bumped your story about “Where Milk Comes From” out of this week’s issue of your local give-away newspaper. So here are some cheap ass entrepreneur tips for getting debt free!
- “Borrow” instead of buy – The next time you need something, just think of people you know who already have it. Most people have more stuff than they really need, so just help yourself. And don’t forget to offer to help people look for missing items, that way they’ll be less inclined to think you stole from them!
- Sell accounts receivable - In business, this is the money that other people owe you. The idea is you can sell future money at a discount to someone else and have money today. Consider this example: You tell your bouncer friend Butch that last night you and Steve were playing poker and Steve owes you 50 bucks, if Butch gives you 40 today, he can just collect Steve’s 50 bucks next week. Then next week, when Steve is getting his ass handed to him by Butch, (all the while crying he’s doesn’t know anything about a Poker debt), you’ll have 40 bucks to spend!
- Use pretend family members to secure credit – Consider applying for a credit card in your dog’s name, or just use dead relatives! If you don’t have any dead relatives, just pick up your local paper. They publish the names of dead people everyday!
Bizarro Blogger said
Me know tips must be real good. Me head always hurt when try to wrap brain around things that smart. Me start filling out credit card papers for dead grandma.
You’re welcome, cheap ass enterpeeneer!
Master of Thy Site said
Thank you, Bizarro Blogger.
Let this man’s words be a lesson to all of you. He is the direct result of what happens to the human brain when you do nothing with your life but write useless posts that no one will ever read for countless decades. I should hope that all of you will aspire to be like him one day. Mindless from lack of stimulation. Obese from lack of activity. Isolated due to the lack of human contact you’ve avoided in lieu of hiding behind whatever “sim city” character you’re pretending to be that week.
This man is your future… so blog away, my mindless lemmings. I have a place for each and every one of you when you finally realize life means having one in the first place…and that you’re all dead inside.
MMMWWAHAHAHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA…*choke*
wookin' pa nub said
Another great post cheap-ass! Hey, where’s Sexy Big Time’s next comment telling us all how hot and smart she is?
Gee, I hope I didn’t scare her off!
Big Daddy Blue said
I’ve actually been in debt for years since I recorded my first two tapes. As it turns out, I didn’t know folks expect talent when they buy tapes. Live and learn, I guess.
But here’s two tips I’ve picked up to save money as I try and tour the country on public transportation.
If you grow out your thumbnail real long you can save money on guitar picks. Sure people will stare, but you get used to it.
Also, a loaf of bread and a bottle of katsup, cost less than two dollars and it can feed you for week. Ya got yerself two food groups there: grains and veggies.
Blogger From a World Gone Horribly Wrong said
sdjsdjkfksjkfd… ust maintain the signal for as long as you can. Are you sure this signal is beaming to the year 1998? OK, I’m in! I’M IN!
People of the 21st century! Hear my cries of torment. I’m from the future, where blogging has gone horribly horribly wrong. My name is not important, just as it never was in the past.
Listen to me. You must put an end to all blogs that offer bad business advice immediately!!! It was around this time in history that people actually started paying attention to websites that offered business advice from people that didn’t know anything about hygiene, let alone business. What started as a way to make me some extra money by selling banner ads led to disaster. My blog would be found and appreciated by a man named Kenneth Lay. He runs a company called Enron.
You must tell him NOT to follow my advice! In my time, he is the catalyst for a surge of CEO’s using my websites for advice, which causes the Great Collapse. Bloggers everywhere are blamed for the fall of society, causing the government huntdown of anyone associated with blogging, bootstrapping tips or any other social network. Warn Lay…he’s your only hope. He’s your only…
…OH MY STARS AND GARTERS!!! THEY’RE IN! SAVE THE CHILDREN…PUSH THEM INTO THE TUBE AND SEND IT OFF INTO SPACE BEFORE…dgklgjkfkgdkkdfjd
Schlub Reporter said
Greetings fellow bloggers and blogettes! What interesting advice…sure is a lot of good stuff to wade through here. I too am a self-employed newsman..in fact, you would like to see my latest work, I have some of my writing being published in this weeks’ issue of the PaperShop.
Sure, it’s an ad for an old Soloflex I’m trying to get rid of (cash and carry…only $450!), but if any of you business upstarts want to see what it’s like for someone to have their own business, let me inspiring words be your teacher.
Mona Lott said
Now here’s a topic that an old-timer like myself can certainly be of service with. I’ve managed to be quite a good saver in my time, especially when things were tight during the lean years surrounding the Great Depression. Back then, you did what you could to help your family. I started out working as a turner in a sewing mill when I was 5 knitting socks. You see, when being knitted and sewn, socks back then had to be turned inside out so the seams were on the inside when it was turned the right way. My job would be to turn them right side out. The finished socks would then be put into bins and paired. I took the 7 cents I earned each day…and mind you, that was good money back then… and put it into war bonds, because back then, that’s what you did with your pennies. And I had… *yawn*…had …ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
my left nut said
What the hell? Did that crazy old bag actually type herself yawning? Oh well at least she didn’t claim to be a Titanic Survivor…or a successful blues singer.