Welcome to my first guest blog here for business people starting to scratch. I’m the cheap ass entrepreneur and I’m here to offer tips on how to make millions without spending a lot of your own dough. Today’s lesson is for people thinking about starting a software company. Some internet jarhead out there has offered tips (link withheld) which I’ll adapt into five principles for you to think about.
1. Don’t buy what you can take. Consider the case of my fellow cheap ass entrepreneur, let’s call her “Peggy Pillpusher”. Peggy worked in the medical field and was able to stuff enough things in her purse each day that she was able to run a successful side business from the corner block where she lived. Eventually, Peggy made enough money to quit her regular job and devote herself full-time to being a cheap ass entrepreneur.
2. Learn those garbage routes. Companies are always throwing stuff away and if you need computer stuff you just need to find out when that stuff is heading to the dumpster. One good tip I’ve found is that a case of Thunderbird is usually enough to get most janitors to let you know when you need to drive your car to the back of the building.
5. Don’t be too proud to beg. Consider starting a website to ask business or individuals to donate things to you. Be sure to talk about your grand plans and your humble beginnings. You can even try to impress people with made-up success stories, like that high school garage band that once toured a 3-mile radius.
So there you go, five tips to get you started as a cheap ass entrepreneur. Remember if any of these work for you, you owe me a beer…or an A/C for my home office.
hotbod67 said
Errrrr… I’m not really good in math, but don’t you owe us a few more tips here. I think I’m right here, but I’m at work so I can’t take my shoes off to count.
wookin' pa nub said
You’re not wrong Hotbod67, looks like that GED was good for something! There are two numbers between 2 and 5. What’s the deal, cheap ass?
Monkey Seal said
As a soon-to-be grad in the school of engineering, I have to say, I can’t believe anyone would actually take business advice from someone that posts on a blog, unless it was Rupert Murdock or Bill Gate’s blog.
Don’t get me wrong…I love blogging, but if I learned how to be an electrical engineeer from some knob who writes a blog on it but doesn’t really do it (which seems real similar to learning start-up business tips from a guy whose credentials are probably selling apples out of his backyard to local restaurants for 10 cents on the dozen) I probably wouldn’t learn enough to know how to stick a plug into a wall socket.
Sexy Big Time said
I agree with Monkey Seal. I’m a soon-to-be graduate of Princeton majoring in business and I would sooner take advice on sex from a virgin than take business advice from some lameass on the Internet.
AND…that’s not an invitation, boys!
hotbod67 said
damn.
Peter Guzinya said
Snap, yo! This bitch be wild…makes me want to bust one out real quick.
I’m talking ’bout a rap, yo!
What gives, yo? It be your bro, yo…
I’m jus’ digging what be spillin’ from that sexy ho.
She be the only blogger on this site with estrogen
Layin’ a beatdown on a bunch of fat, pale bald virgins.
That’s really all I have so far.
cheap ass entrepreneur said
I left out two tips to encourage user to provide their own content. I shouldn’t have to do all the work, I am after all a cheap-ass entrepreneur. As for Sexy Big Time, if you really are at Princeton, perhaps this brain teaser will address your concerns:
Pam always rode on Doris’ yak.
shazbotwinx said
Hello lady, gentlemen and the rest of you sad, pathetic bloggers. Shazbot Winx here, ready to entertain you with a few jokes I think will loosen up all this tension. I learned these from a local newspaper journalist who blogged in his spare time and wrote jokes about his heavy-set wife. How fat was she?
She was so fat, her privates were named vagina and West vagina.
She was so fat, the only way to get her through doorways was to grease up the sides of the frame and hang a Twinkie in the other room.
She was so fat, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
She was so fat that when God said “Let There Be Light!”, she had to move.
Enjoy the veal, ladies and germs. I’m here all week.
babagooey said
Hey Sexy Big Time…when you’re ready for a REAL man, I’ve got two words for you: Right here.
Eat that, bitches!
Master of Thy Site said
Ahhhh… all my little bloggers…
So full of themselves and so spiteful of the successes of others.
I now understand the pride a parent must feel when its’ spawn mimic their own beliefs. Blogging will clearly be the death of human dignity. I couldn’t be prouder.
Blog on, my pitiable swine!
Mona Lott said
Good evening, kids. I agree. One must study hard if they are going to succeed in life. That’s what I always told my children. And now, they are very successful people…who of course neglect and ignore their mother.
I’m so proud of them.